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Unintentionally Funny Lines My Yoga Instructor Said Yesterday
And my snarky, yet unspoken, retorts
1 min readDec 13, 2019
“Pretend you are a ham sandwich.”
“I thought I was!”
“Kick everybody!”
“Thank you! I’ve wanted to kick all of these perfectly flexible and attractive people for the past 45 minutes!”
“Bend back, all the way back, and touch the floor”
“Wait a second, backs can do that?”
“Bend to your side like you are between two panes of glass”
“Remind me not to ask you out on a date”
“Become the rabbit”
“I’m happy to try, but I’ll need some pointers”
“Try to put your nose in your belly button”
“Last time I did that, I was stuck in that position for a week”
“Your tree looks like a mountain”
“Oh yeah? Well your tree looks like…a different mountain, like a smaller, less attractive one that no one will ever climb or paint a picture of. So there.