The Interview
a story loosely based on my pseudo-fictional life
“Good afternoon.”
“Good afternoon Peter. It’s nice to meet you. My name is Isaac.”
“Hi Isaac. Thanks for selecting my resume and giving me a chance to interview today.”
“Well, it did stand out what with all of the excess glitter — I had to take a shower afterwards. Anyways, let’s get started here. Can you tell me why you are interested in a position as a cashier at our store?”
“Thank you for asking! I just see being a cashier as a surefire way to spend more time in the presence of money as I feel that I have a lot I can learn from it. I am adept at counting and, if necessary, at teaching others to count as well. Finally, I can picture myself standing behind a cash register, mostly because I painted a self-portrait of myself doing so last week that I would be happy to arrange a private viewing for you if given at least two days notice.”
“Well, I do appreciate your enthusiasm which, under different circumstances, I would categorize as worrisome. If this level of unbridled joy — though, to be honest, I’m not quite sure what bridled joy would look like either — is maintained, I’m not sure if at some point I would grow tired or exhausted of your enthusiasm and subconsciously plan your demise or dream of trimming…
