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Irrational Thoughts Had While Showering in the Communal Showers at the Sports Club
by Tommy Paley
I want to blow on that dude’s belly so badly — just imagine the acoustics!
I know size doesn’t matter, but that guy is making the rest of us look bad and consider expensive implants we can’t afford.
On second thought, maybe it was a bad idea to eat that entire chocolate cake last night.
“Is anyone else wet right now?”
These self-applied hickies were totally worth the looks those old Asian guys are giving me.
I wonder if the rest of these men are up for a rousing The Lion Sleeps Tonight right now?
I’m sorry — that sign says “no shaving, spitting or urinating in the shower” but it mentions nothing about blood transfusions.
If the man with the incredibly luscious hair notices I’m slightly aroused is it better to say he looks like a horse or a hot chick?
Will they ask me to leave again for voicing a humorous and insightful play-by-play commentary of my shower?
On the count of three, I’m going to smack myself on my butt and giddy-up around the shower waving my towel above my head like a lasso.
That guy with the washboard abs is either taking performance enhancing drugs or works out a ton — either way, he is filling me with such a complex array of emotions right now I’m on the edge of literally screaming and drooling at the same time.